Ode to Free Agency With Apologies to Dr. Seuss


As another feeding frenzy the NHL calls  free agency is upon us, we present an Ode to Free Agency.

 

Bettman, I am.

That Gary Bettman, That Gary Bettman,

I do not like that Gary Bettman.

Do you like free agency and all it delivers?

I do not like it,

Gary Bettman,

I do not like free agency.

Would you like it with a Brad Richards?

Or maybe a Tomas Kaberle?

I would not like it with a Richards,

I would not like it with a Kaberle,

I do not like free agency

I do not like it, Gary Bettman

Would you, could you like a Nylander?

Or perhaps a Teemu Selanne?

I would not, could not with a Nylander

Or even a Selanne. I would not like it with a Richards

I would not like it with a Kaberle

I do not like free agency,

I do not like it, Gary Bettman.

 

You may like free agency

You will see

You might like it as a

Winnipeg Jet.

I would not, could not as a Jet

Or a Ranger or a Duck

I do not like free agency,

I do not like it, Gary Bettman.

 

A Salo, A Ryder, A Frolov or a Rivet

Would you, could you like it then?

I would not like it Salo, Ryder, Frolov or Rivet,

Nor as a Ranger, Duck or Jet

I do not like Free Agency,

I do not like it, Gary Bettman.

 

Say

On a rink with Langenbrunner?

Would you could you like it with a Prucha or a Modin?

I would not, could not with a Prucha or a Modin

Or a rink with Langenbrunner.

I do not like Free Agency,

I do not like it, Gary Bettman

Ah, would you, could you with a Brodeur, Mike?
Perhaps a Tim Brent, Josh Green or David Koci?

Not any of them, I would not like it.

Not with a Shark, or a Star, or a Maple Leaf.

I do not like Free Agency,

I do not like it, Gary Bettman.

 

 

Tags: Brad Richards David Koci Dr. Seuss Free Agency Frolov Gary Bettman Josh Green Maple Leaf Mike Brodeur Ranger Rivet Ryder Salo Star Teemu Selanne Tim Brent Tomas Kaberle