New York Rangers: How it all went down…maybe

When the New York Rangers fell out of playoff contention last week, I realized that I would need to find some other sort of television entertainment now that the beloved Blueshirts would no longer be an option.  I turned to GAME OF THRONES on HBO, figuring a repeat viewing would take my mind off the team and take me a significant period of time to get through.  Little did I know that the Rangers were about to produce the long awaited sequel.

What follows is a George R.R. Martin inspired fantasy.

Tuesday – 10:30 a.m. – MSG Executive Offices, NYC

King James of Dolan, owner of the New York Rangers sits on the Composite Throne in Midtown Manhattan.  The massive chair, made up of broken CCM hockey sticks, sits behind an impressive desk made from recycled cable modems.

The Hand of the King, Sir John Davidson, enters the office with Master of Whisperers Jeff Gorton following closely behind.  Gorton closes the door behind him, but not before throwing a quick wink at the young administrative page in the reception area.

Davidson – “Good morning Mr. Dolan”

Gorton – “Morning Jimmy, how they hanging”

Dolan – “I’ll tell you how they are hanging, really low, because right now I’m feeling like I’ve got the biggest set in all the kingdom.  Read this, it’s going out later today”

Davidson and Gorton are each handed a copy of THE STATEMENT.  Both men read.

Davidson – “Mr. Dolan, you can’t put this out.  This is tantamount to declaring war against the NHL.  There is no doubt there will be a pretty hefty price to pay for something like this.”

Dolan – “A bigger price than Artemi Panarin paid Monday night?  A bigger price than this team, this organization will pay if we don’t take a stand on this? We are an Original Six organization, the first men, keepers of the realm.”

Davidson – “A stand will be taken… in time…but this is more than a stand, this is a personal attack on George Parros, a genuinely good guy and an NHL executive.”

Dolan – “He may be a good guy, but he clearly took too many punches to the old cabeza when he was playing.  His judgment is FUBAR. The real sad part about this whole thing is I would take that guy on my team right now. We needed a guy like him, we still need a guy like him.  I told you guys  last summer, get Ryan Reaves, whatever the cost.  When you fumbled that I said get Matt Martin from those damn fish fryers on the island.  I mean, I had Boomer calling me every day for a month telling me we should grab him.  Do you know what’s it’s like talking to Boomer?  I mean, holy crap you would think the guy won five Super Bowls, he knows EVERYTHING!”

Gorton – “It was the cap.”

Dolan – “That’s what I pay you for Groton”

Gorton – “It’s Gorton”

Dolan – “Whatever son, I asked you for one thing and you didn’t deliver.  Now we are all sitting here with egg on our faces because some psycho threw around my $70 million investment like a cat toy, and if the so called Department of Player Safety isn’t going to protect my investment then he needs to be called on the carpet.”

Davidson – “Mr. Bettman is not going to like this. He is the Kingslayer after all.”

Dolan – “Clearly, but you guys are going to like.”

Davidson – “Wait, you want this to come from me…from us….from my office….his office….Ranger’s management?”

Dolan – “Yes, just put this out there to show our disgust with this whole mess.”

Davidson – “I don’t know if I’m comfortable doing that.”

Gorton – “Yeah, I’m not putting my name on that, I’ll never get another job in the NHL if I do.”

Dolan – “Funny you should say that Groton…don’t say it…if you don’t back this play, if you don’t put your name behind it, then looking for another job in the NHL is exactly where you will be doing.”

Davidson – “Hold on, hold on…you can’t mean that.  We are in the middle of a very methodical rebuild here.  Jeff is the guy who is building the team….it just takes some time.”

Dolan – “And I don’t like how it’s being built.  I told you I wanted some whooop-ass out there.  After Carolina….after the two game no show against the guppies last week….it should be clear to you now that I was right.

Davidson – “We are getting there, we drafted some tough kids last time around, it just takes some time, some patience.”

Dolan – “Ever hear of a ‘New York Minute’, that’s how much time I have left for this garbage. You should have protected Panarin the minute we signed him.  I mean, the Oilers paid a kings ransom for Lucic the day after they hit the jackpot.  We hit three jackpots with Panarin, Kakko and Laffy and you guys left them hung out to dry the same way the Eichel kid is doing to the Sabres .  And don’t talk to me about how we can grab that guy too.

Gorton – “Well if we just….

Dolan – “Can it Groton. Here’s the deal, YOU are either with my rebuild plan now or I find someone that is.”

Davidson – “Mr. Dolan sir, I’m in full support of what Jeff is doing, we are working together to move this team forward….but it takes time.”

Dolan – “Say the word ‘Time” to me one more…..ugh….I have had it.  You know what JD, you believe in what you are doing, I believe in what I want.  What I want matters more, so Groton put it out there before the close of business today or you won’t be in the box watching the game tomorrow.”

Gorton – “I’m just not really…..”

Davidson – “I can’t have him do that Mr. Dolan.”

Dolan – “You can and you will, or you will both face the rack.”

Davidson – “I have to stand with Jeff here, this is not a good look…not a good idea for the team.”

Dolan – “Well then you can go with him.  If you believe so strongly in him that you want to side with him over ME, that’s a dangerous line you are walking JD.”

Davidson – “I’ll walk it, I believe in what we are doing, I believe putting this statement out is the wrong approach.”

Dolan – “No John, your approach is the one that is wrong.  I’m looking for guys who will protect my kingdom, both on and off the ice. I’ll leave the decision up to you but if this falls back on me, well….you know what they say rolls downhill don’t you?”